Discovered a gem of an essay in The New York Times going back a few months.
The essay, titled It’s Not You, It’s Your Books, by Rachel Donadio discusses how our prospects of finding and retaining a (soul) mate can be determined by our reading habits – or a lack of it. Even our interest in committing to a relationship can be influenced by our partner’s literary preferences (or a lack of it).
According to Ms Donadio’s essay, our reading preferences mark our social branding and either increase or discount our chances of succeeding in a relationship. Makes you curious, doesn’t it? Well, here’s an excerpt to get you started:
These days, thanks to social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, listing your favorite books and authors is a crucial, if risky, part of self-branding. When it comes to online dating, even casual references can turn into deal breakers. Sussing out a date’s taste in books is “actually a pretty good way — as a sort of first pass — of getting a sense of someone,” said Anna Fels, a Manhattan psychiatrist and the author of “Necessary Dreams: Ambition in Women’s Changing Lives.” “It’s a bit of a Rorschach test.” To Fels (who happens to be married to the literary publisher and writer James Atlas), reading habits can be a rough indicator of other qualities. “It tells something about ... their level of intellectual curiosity, what their style is,” Fels said. “It speaks to class, educational level.”
Still curious? Read Rachel Donadio’s essay here.
[Citation: It’s Not You, It’s Your Books by Rachel Donadio, The New York Times, 30 March 2008.]
05 July 2008
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2 comments:
Had read the essay when it came out - I was wondering if it was an attempt at humor. Isn't it too superficial to find love through reading habits? I know friends who have talked about being in love with books et al in their social network profiles, just because they happen to be reading a book at the time. If someone was to fall in love with them only for this, they would def be in for a disappointment :)
In all likelihood, Rachel Donadio's essay (written, hopefully, in jest) reflects the times we live in... at least in USA. Actually, I found the essay quite amusing.
I agree with you essentially (but not entirely). We would indeed be shallow people if we let our feelings for others be commanded by the books they/we read.
However, there's no denying the fact that the books we read help define our personalities - and send off signals to others about who we are, or who we could be. As the article suggests, the books we read add to our personal branding. Obviously, we need to look deeper.
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